TREMERE: "Awright, Haqim!  I have HAD it with you!  You're gonna die!"

HAQIM: "Says you.  Phbbbt!"

TREMERE: "Oh, yeah?  Thaumaturgy 10, Lure of Flames!  I blow up Asia!"

HAQIM: "Celerity 10.  I dodge.  I'm now standing in the middle of the ocean."

TREMERE: "Thaumaturgy 10, Neptune's Might.  I boil the oceans."

HAQIM: "Obfuscate 10.  What ocean?"

TREMERE: "Thaumaturgy 10, Movement of the Mind.  I hit the remaining ocean with
the moon."

LASOMBRA: "Tag in!  Obtenebration 9.  What moon?"

TREMERE: "Auspex 10.  *That* moon."

LASOMBRA: "Tag out!"

HAQIM: "Oh crap.  Umm... Quietus 10."

TREMERE: "Here comes the big ball of rock, baby!"

[HAQIM is squished]

BRUJAH: "Didn't Haqim just activate Quietus 10?"

NOSFERATU: "And it was a surprisingly quiet squishing.  Stupid discipline."

TREMERE: "Lasombra..."

LASOMBRA: "Tag, um, Tzimisce!"

TZIMISCE: "Vicissitude 10.  Try that moon trick now, spellboy."

TREMERE: "Tag Ventrue!"

VENTRUE: "Dominate 10. Who's your daddy?"

TZIMISCE: "You're my daddy."

LASOMBRA: "Tag in!  Potence 10.  Feel the pain!"

VENTRUE: "Fortitude 10!  What pain?"

LASOMBRA: "Obtenebration 10!  I hope you like small, dark places."

VENTRUE: "Fuck."

[VENTRUE vanishes]

LASOMBRA: "I have ALWAYS wanted to do that."

TZIMISCE: "Vicissitude 10.  Lasombra, you're now a small ball of cheese."

SMALL BALL OF CHEESE: "WHY?"

TZIMISCE: "Ventrue still calls the shots.  Read Dominate 10."

SMALL BALL OF CHEESE: "Damn, he's right."

TZIMISCE: "Animalism 10.  Horde of cheese-eating mice."

SMALL BALL OF CHEESE: "Obtenebration 10.  I am a shadow of a small ball of
cheese."

TZIMISCE: "Tag Tremere!"

TREMERE: "Thaumaturgy 10, Lure of Flames.  Shadow of fondue, you mean."

SMALL BALL OF CHEESE: *fwoosh*

NOSFERATU: "Animalism 10.  They're MY horde of mice."

TZIMISCE: "Animalism 10.  Mine."

NOSFERATU: "Mine!"

TZIMISCE: "Gimme!"

BRUJAH: "Celerity 10 AND Potence 10.  I crush Tzimisce and Nosferatu while
they're still arguing about the mice."

NOSFERATU: "Urk." [dies]

TZIMISCE: "Urk." [reforms] "Love that Vicissitude 10."

BRUJAH: "Oh, dearie."

TZIMISCE: "Now the mice are MINE!"

[MASKED AVENGER #1 appears from nowhere]

MASKED AVENGER #1: "All of you shall die for consorting with our enemies! Or,
in some cases, actually being our enemies."

ENNOIA: "Who the heck are *you*?"

MASKED AVENGER #1: "Oh, sorry.  I'm early."

[MASKED AVENGER #1 vanishes]

TZIMISCE: "Not even the first Masked Avenger, whoever he was, can stop me!"

ARIKEL: "Auspex 10.  What *can* stop someone with Vicissitude 10?  Oh,
diablerie."

TREMERE: "Thaumaturgy something or other.  I weaken Arikel a generation."

ARIKEL: "You just made that up!"

TREMERE: "Trust me, you'll like it."

BRUJAH: "Potence 10.  I expend a barrage of fisticuffs upon Tzimisce."

TZIMISCE: "Vicissitude 10.  I can ignore them."

ENNOIA: "Animalism 10.  My mice."

TZIMISCE: "Mine!"

TREMERE: "Quick, Arikel!  Diablerize Tzimisce while he's distracted!"

AUGUSTUS: "Necromancy 10, Bone Path!  The dead have risen- and they're
voting Republican!"

TREMERE: "Don't you guys *ever* stop worrying about temporal power?"

AUGUSTUS: "Umm.  No."

MALKAV: "Dementation 10!  Everyone goes absolutely crazy!"

[there is a pause]

[the pause lengthens]

BRUJAH: "You feel any different, Ennoia?"

ENNOIA: "Nope.  You?"

BRUJAH: "Nope.  Tremere?"

TREMERE: "Nope."

AUGUSTUS: "Me neither."

BRUJAH: "Nobody asked you."

MALKAV: "Well, THAT was a non-starter."

TZIMISCE: "Well, I *gurgle*..."

ARIKEL (dropping diablerized corpse of Tzimisce): "*I* sure feel different!"

ENNOIA: "Well, that settles it.  My mice."

ARIKEL: "I now have Animalism 10.  Mine!"

MALKAV: "CATFIGHT!"

BRUJAH: "Mousefight, actually."

AUGUSTUS: "How droll."

TREMERE: "Thaumaturgy 10, Hands of Destruction.  I kill the freakin' mice,
already."

ARIKEL: "Waaahhh!"

AUGUSTUS: "Zombie mice!"

ENNOIA: "Bastards."

[MASKED AVENGERS #1, #2, and #3 appear]

MASKED AVENGER #2: "Prepare to meet final death at the hands of the Masked
Avengers!"

MASKED AVENGER #3: "Especially you, Tremere!"

MASKED AVENGER #2: "No, especially *you*, Augustus!"

MASKED AVENGER #3: "Tremere!"

MASKED AVENGER #2: "Augustus!"

ENNOIA: "Who *are* you guys, anyway?"

MASKED AVENGER #3: "It's a secret.  That's why we're wearing masks."

BRUJAH: "Speaking of which, why does your mask have three eyeholes?"

MASKED AVENGER #3: "To be distinctive."

BRUJAH: "Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of wearing a mask?"

MASKED AVENGER #1: "You always were a smartass."

BRUJAH: "Potence 10.  I punch the first Masked Avenger."

MASKED AVENGER #1: "Ow." [dies]

MASKED AVENGER #2: "We other Masked Avengers are not so easily thwarted! We
shall have our revenge!  Especially on you, Augustus!"

MASKED AVENGER #3: "Tremere!"

MASKED AVENGER #2: "Augustus!"

AUGUSTUS: "Can we get rid of these guys?"

TREMERE: "Sure you take care of the guy with the three eyeholes in his
mask, and I'll take the guy who says he's my archenemy."

MASKED AVENGER #3: "I, with the three eyes, am your archenemy, Tremere."

TREMERE: "Whatever."

AUGUSTUS: "Potence 10.  I crush the guy with the three eyes."

MASKED AVENGER #3: "Fortitude 10.  I soak."

TREMERE: "Thaumaturgy 10, Lure of Flames.  I obliterate Masked Avenger #2."

MASKED AVENGER #2: "Fortitude 10.  I soak."

BRUJAH: "Like the guest that won't leave, aren't they?"

AUGUSTUS: "I can handle this.  Necromancy 10, Ash Path.  I summon the
spirits of those who have died tragically."

SPIRITS OF THOSE WHO HAVE DIED TRAGICALLY: "We are here."

AUGUSTUS: "Explain your tragedies to the Masked Avengers."

[The SPIRITS OF THOSE WHO HAVE DIED TRAGICALLY do so]

MASKED AVENGER #3: "Oh, the Angst!  I cannot *bear* it!"

[MASKED AVENGER #3 commits suicide]

MASKED AVENGER #2: "How fascinating.  I wish to learn more."

AUGUSTUS: "Spirits of those who have died tragically, return to the
Shadowlands."

[The SPIRITS OF THOSE WHO HAVE DIED TRAGICALLY do so]

MASKED AVENGER #2: "I must follow them to learn more."

[MASKED AVENGER #2 commits suicide]

ARIKEL: "Well, *that* took forever.  But now it's done.  Now what?"

TREMERE: "Auspex 10 and Thaumaturgy 10, Lure of Flames.  I incinerate Set in
that corner he's been hiding."

[SET turns to ashes]

AUGUSTUS: "Letting everyone else do the fighting and taking out the
winners?  I am shocked, SHOCKED."

BRUJAH: "Shocked that you didn't think of it first."

AUGUSTUS: "And I *deeply* deplore that."

[MASKED AVENGER #1 appears]

MASKED AVENGER #1: "Prepare to meet final death at the hands of the Masked
Avenger!"

BRUJAH: "You ever have the feeling of deja vu?"

MASKED AVENGER #1: "Constantly."

ENNOIA: "Enough of this.  Protean 10.  Welcome to the sun, boys!"

TREMERE: "Hah!  Thaumaturgy 10, Invulnerable Weakness!"

[MASKED AVENGER #1 goes *fwoosh*]

[BRUJAH goes *fwoosh*]

[MALKAV goes *fwoosh*]

[ARIKEL goes *fwoosh*]

AUGUSTUS: "Hah!  You've played perfectly into my master plan!  No, wait."

[AUGUSTUS goes *fwoosh*]

TREMERE: "Thaumaturgy 10, Neptune's Might.  I extinguish Ennoia."

[ENNOIA goes *fwoosh*]

TREMERE: "Woo hoo, I won!"

RAVNOS: "Forgot me."

TREMERE: "You?  Where the heck have you been?"

RAVNOS: "Keeping a low profile."

TREMERE: "And you didn't burn up in the sun?"

RAVNOS: "Fortitude 10, baby.  And I'll thank you not to kill off my mice."

TREMERE: "PREPARE TO DIE!"

RAVNOS: "Not so fast!  Chimeristry 10!"

TREMERE: "Chimeristry 10?  You mean..."

RAVNOS: "Yup.  ''Reality.''  I'll turn us all into a roleplaying game."

TREMERE: "You wouldn't!"

RAVNOS: "I just did."

TREMERE: "NOOOOOOOO!!!"

[RAVNOS, TREMERE, and the corpses of the other antediluvians are replaced by a
series of hardback and paperback game supplements]

THE END